How can couples reverse the buildup of resentment once they notice it?

Last Updated: 03.07.2025 05:56

How can couples reverse the buildup of resentment once they notice it?

By giving up the notion that someone has to “win” or that anyone loses by saying “you are right”, “I am sorry”, or “I can do better.”

By deciding to stop with the criticism and the nagging and instead say thank you for everything you do for me. Thank you for loving me.

By internalizing that responding with kindness is strength, not weakness.

You found a love potion, and your friend tried to use it on an attractive popular girl, but he accidentally dropped it on the neighbors dog. Now the dog won't stop following him. How would you help him?

By learning to validate what the other is feeling. “I can absolutely see why you feel this way.”

By taking turns talking.

By keeping in mind it’s OK to have different opinions and different experiences, and they both matter in equal measure.

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By wanting to truly understand each other, despite feeling unheard.

By resolving to listen with curiosity rather than defensiveness.